Thursday, August 11, 2011

Running Away from God

God woke me up this morning at 3:30 am. I confidently attest that it was Him who awoke me because I know that He speaks to me through restlessness. There are few things that irk me more than not being able to sleep yet I know that He uses sleepless nights to get my undivided attention.

Even after I know what God wants from me (my undivided attention), I am not always willing to give it to Him. I choose to avoid Him for several reasons. One, spending time in His presence takes work. It's not as easy as closing my eyes and reciting a prayer. No, I must resolve to invest time with Him. Communication is a two way street and it's not about how much talking I can do, but how willing I am to listen. Secondly, spending time with Him changes me. If you've ever had a bad habit, you will know how hard they are to break. Psychologists call the incapability to change resistance. We resist change because we are comfortable with our routines. It is easier to revert to old habits than begin to form new ones. However, when I grant Him the access, when I welcome Him, He will never leave me the same. He will pull and stretch me until He has transformed me into that woman He intends for me to be. Lastly, I flee from Him because I think I can do it on my own. Getting down on my knees and surrendering completely is in a sense reminiscent of waving a white flag in defeat. However, if Paul could admit it then so can I, "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:10).

Likewise, Jonah reached a point in his life in which he realized he could no longer run away from God. He recognized that God would go through any lengths to get his attention and He did sending a big fish to swallow him whole. At that very moment, there was no denying the facts, God not only wanted his attention but He had it. Today, like God had Jonah's attention, God has mine.

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