I've been struggling a lot with trusting God. It's not that I don't trust in Him enough but I want to make things happen in my timing. As if I knew better than the Almighty.
This past Monday Lucas and I went to see a couple of houses and there was one in particular that we almost fell in love with. However, there are all these obstacles between that little dream house of ours and us.
I don't know what's going to happen. Is God going to give us that house? Does he have something better? When will we get our dream house?
The truth is that it shouldn't matter. We are in the center of His will and He will take care of us. I am choosing to hand the steering wheel of our life to Him. I just ask that he give me the wisdom, understanding and patience to trust that He alone will answer when I am ready for the response. In the meantime, I am doing what my younger yet very wise sister, Deby suggested. I am seeking him and asking him to show me His will. Jeremiah 33:3 which says, "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know" has become one of my life verses.
It wasn't until recently that I stopped getting mad at God and realized that He knows me better than I know myself. You see I used to get so upset at Him for waking me up at odd hours in the morning. I knew he was creating that restlessness but I couldn't understand why He had to wake me up so early. Today I am grateful because I truly have enjoyed the early mornings up with Him. I am actually quite productive (just ask my husband). I have done so much talking (to God, of course) in prayer and through my journaling. Now, it's time for me to listen.
I am here, Lord and I don't understand what you are doing or when you will do it but I choose to trust you with every area of my life even this one which I want so bad to have control of. I no longer feel bad for not knowing what's next. I see that you want me to live day by day. You will take supply all of my needs and grant me my heart's desires. I am comforted by the fact that God himself is telling me in Proverbs 20:24 that "A man's steps are from the Lord; how then can man understand his way?".