Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Resisting the Urge to Complain
One of the ugliest things, we as wives can do, is complain to our friends (or anybody else for that matter) about our husband. If you've been married for any length of time, be it 6 months or 6 years, you know that conflict is bound to happen. You also understand that conflict in and of itself is not bad because it can have the power to draw us closer to each other when handled correctly.
I have learned in the past 3 years and almost 9 months of marriage that there are some things that my husband will do that will inevitably irritate me as there are countless things I can do to ruffle his feathers. It is at those precise moments when we can choose to be most like Christ by loving our spouse, flaws and all, whether we agree on everything or not.
So when tempted to complain about your husband, may I encourage you to zip your lips. You will have to learn how to deal with his idiosyncrasies with God and allow Him to change the way you view your husband and react when annoyed. Remember that when you speak ill of your spouse, you are leaving room for others to criticize him. Many times, it is really nothing they have done wrong, but simply, our time of the month and everything they do or don't do seems to irritate us. Be gracious and kind (Trust me that I am writing this mostly to myself).
Like the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:12 may it be said of us, "She brings him good, not harm all the days of her life."
For my husband,
I know I've failed many times but I vow to spending the rest of my life learning how to love you by respecting you. When things hurt me rather than run to others and get them to side with me, I will turn to God in prayer. Thank you for always trying to protect me and demonstrating how to protect you in return.
I love you even when I don't show it. I love you not because I feel it but because I chose to every day of my life.