Crippling Fear

If you're anything like me then procrastination, especially on school assignments, has just become a part of life. I have just about convinced myself that I will work better under pressure. Lie #1!

This past week I have really been struggling with getting this research critique done (the presentation part, anyway) but for some reason it has been quite overwhelming. Although I tried putting it on the back burner it literally consumed all of my mind robbing me of peace and joy.

When I woke up this morning at around 6:30 am I felt so much anxiety and fear to the point that it was almost paralyzing. I'm not sure if you've ever experienced something as powerful as this but it was just awful. Negative thoughts just kept playing in my head over and over like a broken record until I decided that I would speak the truth (God's word) to my worries.

These verses came to mind: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" and "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind" and immediately got up from my bed, prayed, read my devotional and got to business. I was amazed at how just minutes earlier I was facing a fear so real that it had the power to incapacitate me. And then when I used the "Sword of the Spirit" I defeated the enemy and extinguished his fiery darts. By reciting the word of God I was able to overcome that irrational fear.

Where do you find yourself today? Are you struggling with a crippling fear so real that it threatens to steal your joy? Are you ready for the battle? Have you put on the full armor of God?

Ephesians 6:11-17

*Photograph courtesy of Flickr.

I am angry

As I sit here waiting for Danielle's mani/pedicure to be completed I am taking advantage of the fact that I have her handy dandy iPhone to update my blog.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately (and it's not that I don't think at other times but I just have less distractions now that I'm on summer vacation). One of the things that I've been thinking about is my anger. Some of you who may know me a little better may not be surprised that I am writing about my anger. But I think the majority of you reading this post have no idea (I probably do a good job of hiding it) that I struggle with anger.

The truth of the matter is that I am a very angry person and many times I fail to identify what the cause of my anger is. Something as minor as being late can make me angry and yet the very things that I should be angry about such as the lack of empathy I have for the "orphans and widows" do not stir me to action. As a consequence, I find that many times I let it out on those who love me the most (my mom and Lucas).

Anger in and of itself is not a negative emotion but the way we respond to it has the potential to destroy us and those around us if mishandled. Currently I am working through a workbook titled "The Anger Workbook". It has helped me become aware of the little things that get my blood boiling.

I really debated on whether or not I should post this but I quickly realized that everything God has been demonstrating through his word shows that great men and women in the bible struggled with something. Moses had a speech impediment, David was an adulterer and Paul persecuted the Christians before his conversion, yet God used them despite their flaws to accomplish great things for his kingdom. Paul puts it like this, But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

I pray whether you are a follower of my blog or just someone who happened to stop by today that if the Lord is working in your heart on a specific area, that you would be able to find the comfort and healing he has so faithfully provided me with. I am not at the end of my journey, I am merely at the beginning but as I've said in the past, "I am confident that He who began a good work in [me] will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6).