When you look at me now, what do you see? I have been told many times that I am optimistic but it wasn't always this way. You see when I came to Christ (about 9 years ago) I had a lot of baggage and I do mean A LOT. There were some things that occurred during my childhood that were simply stuffed away. They were nicely tucked in (or so I thought) in a hidden compartment of my heart which no one saw. And since I didn't talk about it, I believed it had no power over me.
Boy was I wrong.
It was during the first couple of years as a new believer that the Lord began a healing process in me. It was painstakingly difficult to say the very least. I remember how angry I used to be at God. My monologue with God went a little like this, "Why did you allow that to happen to me? Where were you? It's so unfair!"
Unfortunately when the focus remained on me, all I did was fall into a deep depression (something King David knew all too well). Nothing was good, through my tainted lenses, it was all bad.
Yet I attended church (not very consistently but I was there) because deep down in the bottom of my heart, I knew that God was the only one who could help me. I distinctly remember my pastor at the time, Manny, preaching Sunday after Sunday and using what to me sounded like the biggest cliché, "God will never let your pain go to waste."
Although I was incapable of believing it at the time, today I know that he was absolutely right. I can boldly proclaim that what happened in the past had a purpose. It has helped me become the woman I am today.
My friend, if you feel like you are entering or walking in the midst of the darkness, may this be of some encouragement to you. I know it is difficult to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel but know that it is there. Keep trusting and walking with God; He will help you make it through victoriously.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."
2 Corintians 1:3-5
1 comment:
Thanks so much for sharing this. It is timely as I just spent the weekend with a friend who was hurt in deep ways as a child. She has stuffed and turned to other people and things for love and acceptance. I don't know if she's a believer but I'm praying and this was a great reminder that God does have amazing power to heal and restore. I'm so glad God worked that healing inside of you. What a beautiful picture of redemption and grace. I'm praising Him with you today!
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